A Tooth Fairy Fable, Starring A Beset Mother and Her Two Sons

by Becky on April 19, 2012

in Parenting

Act I. So the youngest member of our household lost three teeth the night before last. Not one. Not two. Three. On discovering that they were loose, he got down to business and simply yanked them out.

Silas looses 3 teeth in one night

Problem is, someone has to signal the tooth fairy when that happens. Right? Otherwise, how will she know to come??? You feel me? You would think that something as, well, SEISMIC as three teeth(!) being released from an eight-year-old’s mouth would be its own signal and that the cosmic ripples from such a life-altering event would, given how powerful they were, knock the Tooth Fairy upside the head, causing her to go all bug-eyed as she suddenly realizes that a young man down in the Land of Teeth has lost THREE at the same TIME! But no. Just like any diva, she’s got to have the proverbial banging on the dressing room door, reminding her that yes, yes already, it’s show time.

Act II. Seems the Tooth Fairy forgot to come that first night, a fact which caused everyone connected with this young man (especially his older siblings) to look at their mother all disgusted, like, “Really?”—which caused her to look around defensively, as if to say, “What!? I fell asleep!”  (Which is no excuse, but still.)  

See, the mother’s job is to coordinate with the Tooth Fairy—at least telepathically, before falling asleep, to—you know—communicate the Great News.  But, as a result of having failed to do this, she now needed to make it up to her Youngest in a big way, by using a bull horn this time to call the Fairy, instead of a weakly telegraphed afterthought dispatched on the road to sleep.

Act III. The older children in this family were well favored of the Tooth Fairy. Once, to my oldest, she brought a tiny castle sculpted of sand and a corresponding note written in glitter ink. Can you just imagine? How generous, our Fairy! Which made it imperative that she revisit her glory days, so to speak, and really bring it for the second grader who of course deserves the same consideration his brother and sisters routinely received. So, maybe out of a sense of guilt, the Fairy went a little crazy last night. Here are the items found on or in our youngest’s bed this morning: a small box of rainbow Goldfish (a perennial favorite); Fruit Punch Icebreakers (sugar-free, naturally); a box of Angry Birds Adhesive Bandages (a crowd pleaser); a box of multiplication flashcards (not such a crowd pleaser); a box of Kraft SpongeBob macaroni and cheese (huge hit); and (the coup de grace) a Mega Bloks brand authentic Need for Speed Collector’s Series Nissan GT-R Key Launcher 14-piece race car in matte blue.

Silas eyeing his bounty

This morning, you could hear the cheers and hoots all the way up the street.

 Tooth Fairy is now on better terms

Act IV. At breakfast, the following conversation occurred between my two boys. Silas, scorer of fairy booty: “I think my fairy is a boy.” Clave, my older son, with a derisive snort: “Dude, your fairy is a girl. Come on, this is real life, not some Disney movie!”

Wait . . . you mean life’s not a Disney movie??

So the point is, the fairy came, he/she was generous, and a certain mother was redeemed. (For now, at least. Until the next tooth falls out and she has to scour the house for a cell phone, which I hear is the latest mode of communication preferred by delinquent fairies.)

Act V. On his way out the door to school, Silas brought his treasure hoard to me and said solemnly, “Hide this from Clave. You know he wants it.”

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